Ahhh, lend me yer ears, ye glorious gathering of deck-stumblers, star-chasers, and part-time parrots…

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There be whispers on the sea breeze - suspiciously dramatic, probably exaggerated - 'bout a pirate so bewilderin’, so bafflin’ly beguilin’, the tides themselves get tangled tryin’ to follow his course. Cap’n Jack Scallywag, they call him, a name that floats through taverns and tea shops alike, usually followed by gasps, giggles, or lawsuits.

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He weren’t born on any ordinary Tuesday, no sir. Nay! Jack made his grand entrance on a stormy night so loud, the thunder asked for earplugs. He popped out right atop a ship mid-barrel roll, shoutin’ somethin’ about findin’ his other boot. They say the moment he stood up - tiny, wobbly, and already suspicious - the storm stopped just to see what he’d do next.

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Raised among the ocean’s more questionable citizens - smugglers, fortune-tellers, and that one guy who speaks fluent squid - young Jack grew up fluent in fibs, jigs, and the fine art of escape. He navigates by moonlight, argues with stars, and has forgotten the location of more treasure than most pirates ever dream of… mostly because he writes maps on whatever’s closest. Sandwich wrappers, mostly.

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He’s evaded blockades by pretending to be lost laundry, escaped hangin’s with nothin’ but a confident strut and some light juggling, and once - just once, mind ye - sweet-talked a sea monster into a game of charades (the kraken’s surprisingly good at “windmill.”).

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But what makes Jack truly legendary isn’t just his knack for nonsense or the way he somehow owes everyone and no one at the same time. It’s the loyalty he shows to his crew, the sort o’ captain who’d share the last coconut, laugh in the face of doom, and then accidentally sit on the map home. He’s the chaos and the compass, the mischief and the melody.

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A scamp? Definitely. A menace? Somewhat. A myth? Probably not, though he does insist he once arm-wrestled the moon. And won.

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So if ever ye find yourself peerin’ out at the horizon and somethin’ feels… off, like the wind’s up to somethin’ and the seagulls are judgin’ you, keep an eye open. Cap’n Jack Scallywag might just be nearby, lookin’ for adventure, misplacing treasure, or borrowing your boat without permission.

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And when he shows up? Smile, nod, and offer him a snack. He’s got a soft spot for kindness, and an even softer spot for fresh banana bread.